its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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