My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
