shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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