How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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