but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
