Soap is not a condiment
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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