quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
