Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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