I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
