he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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