i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize