I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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