Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
