My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
