i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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