I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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