i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
