I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
one two three fourrrrnication!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
