so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
