thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
