so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
