I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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