idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
