So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
