Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
