It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
