who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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