You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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