you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize