no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
