she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Panties = found
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
