i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
