Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
