Do you still have your period?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
