Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize