Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
