new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Help. Why am I so naked?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize