I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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