Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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