No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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