Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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