Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
