also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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