hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize