After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
