fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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