She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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