omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize