he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
