Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
