I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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