Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
