My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
