I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize