you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
