It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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