She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
