hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
His nipple licking is glorious
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