U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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