if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
